you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be... *

The waves have crashed down at
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
3:42 PM

weeeeee!!! may bago akong crush! actually matagal ko na siyang crush pero ngayon ko palang ipapangalandakan na crush ko siya. kaklase ko siya sa introso. pangalan niya jc. isa siyang bulas. malaking tao. moreno. maganda ang labi. :) ewan ko.. basta mahilig ako sa mga bulas pero kahit di bulas si eng boy, ok na ok siya. :) kahit ako'y isang pare lang sa kanyang pananaw, ok lang.

onga pala manonood ako ng corpse bride sa ubreak. sinong gusto sumama sakin? libre naman siya e. next ubreak, edward scissorhands naman.. tas next next ubreak the nightmare before christmas.. tas next next next ubreak ay charlie and the chocolate factory pero di ako manonood ng latter. takte. ako'y natrauma sa charlie and the chocolate factory for some peculiar reasons. basta. it's one helluva disturbing movie. x_x

sorry diane. sorry di ako nakasama ng antipolo. di mo lang alam namamatay ako sa inggit noong sabado kaso it's the call of the femur, radius, ulna, pubis, ischium, ilium, pelvic girdle, etc.. basta. seryoso. bad trip nga wala akong napuntahan ni isang lakad noong weekend. leche. times three.

kelangan ko pa magaral para sa rotc. double leche.

onga pala baka di niyo alam, may multiply po ako. nakalink siya sa profile ko sa taas ng entries ko dito sa blog. puntahan niyo naman para may saysay ang multiply ko. :D

happy days.. *

The waves have crashed down at
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
4:35 PM

gaaaaaah!! ang hirap ng compana.. naiiyak na ako sa hirap.. sana kasi science monster nalang ako para hustler ako ngayon sa compana.. uno lang talaga.. dalawang uno.. isang lec at lab magpapaparty na ako nun.. [actually, di naman kasi wala akong pera.. manlilibre nalang ako ng starbucks o timezone.. hahaha! :D] as for other things...

i'm happy about how birthday boy is treating me lately.. if it's pare he wants, ok lang.. but sometimes, i just wish there's something more to that.. prolly i have accepted the fact that i can't have someone who also wants someone else.. all i can do is be a good pare. :) basta if the girl he loves hurts him, he's gonna have to pass through my thorough beating! hahahah!

kilig story for today: it just happened this morning. kuya and i were waiting for him at z2. after four hours, he arrived looking a bit "madungis" because of his plain white shirt that was kinda damp. he asked me if i had an extra shirt with me. doi. who would bring an extra shirt to school if it wasn't his / her p.e. day? luckily, my lips were drying up and i left my lip gloss at home so i told them i'll go back to my house first before attending companalec. i picked out a shirt from my closet that would look like a guy's shirt, the light blue bahamas shirt that i often wear in school. when i arrived at z2, the table we occupied was already empty so i assumed that he was already in j302 for his stat102. i went there to give his shirt. he handed me my pouch and kinda shook hands with me for around 10 seconds. he was squeezing it like hell and it kinda hurt since my index finger had the afomb ring on it but it's okay. at least, i got go "hold" his hand. it made my day. :)

i almost got killed last week. there was this freaky dude who was following me on our street. i didn't mind him assuming that he was just passing by but then, he put his hand over my left chest for around 2 seconds. i was startled to i backed away and assumed the fighting stance in tae kwon do. i froze when i saw him pulling out a gun from his pants. he suddenly ran off. i, not knowing what to do in front of our gate went to the laundry shop beside our house. they gave me some water to drink and asked for help. thank god they were nice people. from then on, i can't go home without someone to walk with me or without being fetched at the eng gate. it was really freaky. had he not bring a gun, i would prolly had my first taste of one-on-one with a hold-upper. freaky experience. you'll never know when you'll be the next victim. i hope you guys watch your back and not loiter at the isolated streets at night. it might happen to you.

diane's birthday is coming up so i'd like to greet her a happy birthday, diane!

durog ako. period. *

The waves have crashed down at
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
1:40 PM

"all this is fine even if it crashes down on me.."

hay... always the buddy.. buddy material lang talaga ako... it's always hard to put up a face and make it seem that everything is alright. pain never left my side.. and so, i try to go on with the wound bleeding more and more everyday.. somebody wipe my tears away..

i dreamt of coffee boy last night.. it was kinda freaky.. he actually died in my dream and i was regretful of what happened. weird. whatever. i just want to figure out what that meant.

gusto ko sana batukan at sabihin "nandito naman ako a.." *

The waves have crashed down at
Thursday, January 12, 2006
10:26 PM

tangina.. i can't post regularly coz i have to keep on reading in advance for introso and genpsyc which are by the way, prerequisite subjects to my majors..

anyway.. i have been dealing matters of the heart... finally, i learned to let him go.. he was a big part of me for a year or so.. thankfully, my stupidity has stopped in its tracks.. i have set my eyes on someone else but i don't think it's a "good investment" emotionally speaking.. i mean.. malabo rin!!!! kasing labo lang ng isa.. yun nga lang mas ok in terms of proximity si birthday boy.. ang role ko nga lang sa buhay niya ay "pare". anak ng... sino ba naman di maiinis dun? lagi ka ba naman kwentuhan tungkol sa mga trip niyang girls? garrr... oh well.. tulad ng sabi ko sa status ko sa ym "gusto ko sana batukan at sabihin "nandito naman ako a..." " loser. sana lang talaga mauntog si birthday boy sa pader at mahulog sakin.. kaso.. asa pa!!!! masyado akong disqualified sa mga criteria na sinet niya para sa kanyang perfect girl.. di lang talaga niya alam tuwing kausap niya ako tungkol sa trip niyang girl nadudurog ako sa loob.. promise!!!! kelan kaya magiging tama ang lahat sa mundo ko? at nasan na yung dude na magpapasaya sakin? nasan na siya??? naligaw lang siguro.. sana nga..

other than that, i have been trying to work my ass off for the past week to get good grades.. i wanted to drop my compana but it's too late.. :( sayang. i wanted to shift to com arts a while ago but alas! it's too late.. :( oh well.. might as well stick with this really tough course.. who knows? baka maging classmate ko siya sa isa sa mga subjects ko since we're under the same college! :P

compana is killing me!!!! help!!! looking on the bright side, at least, it's one of the hardest subjects in the course next to embryology.. :)

missing love and loneliness.. *

The waves have crashed down at
Sunday, January 01, 2006
8:41 PM

love is a bitch to both guys and girls who can't have it their way. there are times when i wish that i felt that way again (think warm embraces, soft kisses, holding hands and seeing someone who can see you without pretenses) but alas, there is no one who wishes to share it with me. love can't be bought. it can just start at any moment unexpected with unexpected consequences to follow. people make plans, carry them out and live their lives conventionally. for people who want everything to be secure, you've got to take that leap of faith and fall together holding hands and hope that you land on softer ground. it's never gonna be an easy thing to do but i think that whether love fades or remains, it will be worth the trouble.

when everyone is lonely or seem to be lonely, it would be unexcusably selfish to be lonely alone..

p.s. i am not feeling sad or anything.. i just miss feeling in love with someone who loves me back.. :)