The waves have crashed down at
Thursday, March 02, 2006
4:48 PM
shiet.. this blogging thing is really starting to get old plus the mere fact that i have no time for such old habits is a reason why you would are probably seeing the same thing for months and months.. so.. what's new in my life, you ask? well first of all, i am using pacey, my laptop.. i bought him in singapore when we went there last week. it was just a weekend long thing since i am as busy as a bee. well before that, it was one helluva shitty week. i have been bombarded by school work plus the emotional stress brought about by some misunderstanding with my amazing friends. the sad thing about it is, he knew all along how i really felt. no wonder his treatment has been somewhat different lately. i have been sensing it yet in the back of my head, i tried not to think or be bothered about it.. but then, tragedy struck. i mean would you even have the guts to put up a face knowing that you're exposed? trust was a really big issue on both parties and i am sorry that some people were made to choose point blank. i know now that it really is hard.. what makes me even more sad is the fact that after what has happened, things are never the same again.. *intermission* waaaaaaaaa... i'm here blogging at the yuch lobby and sq is here! ^_^ *intermission* back to the topic.. there.. i mean the friend i lost before over something this petty wasn't really a big loss on my part because i have learned to move on but for this guy, aids.. i mean.. the way he teases me, the way he plays with my hair, the way we talk about deep shit is just.. everything.. i have found a friend and a person who i think has everything i wanted in a guy.. it just sucks that he can't see me that way. i mean i am always at his each pops performances, his contests and stuff just for moral support and yet he still manages to put up all hopes on the girl of his dreams.. shit.. i can't believe i am on emo mode right now.. i don't know what to say anymore.. i am at a loss for words.. by the way, the physician at the annual physical examination recommended that i go see the school counselor for psychologic help. it's funny that i am taking up psychology when i think that i am a psychopath myself.. i just wish that all the things that i have to deal with right now will be over before i start working. i want all of these things to end before working. actually up to now, i still don't know what to do after graduating. either i take up medicine or culinary arts, one of my passions that never fail to motivate me. medicine would give me better financial reward but i know that culinary [actually, it's communication] that will give me the greatest sense of fulfillment. i mean i don't mind being poor as long as i'm happy with what i am doing. my life and my future will always be a mystery that even i myself will never fully understand but i hope that i will someday somehow...
