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Amidst Hell-slash-Finals week, I managed to write my thoughts about things, things that matter to me like how I feel, what I am now, where I am going and so much more. Looking back to two terms ago, everything seems pretty much back to normal. For one, Nathan and I are in good terms already. Aids and I don't talk the way we used to anymore plus, we got two new additions to the Amazing Friends. I believe our lives start out as empty pages of a journal that we fill up everyday. The choices we make affect our future in so many ways. If I look at myself now, I guess I still am a sad person. I haven't found my ultimate euphoria in this lifetime. By the way, as of the moment, I choose to remain single and unattached throughout this lifetime. I am capable of committing but I don't think I'll choose to. They say that there is never the right person and the right place, only the right time. We are mere humans and the possibility of failing in marriage is steadily rising as years pass by. Its sanctity is lost. I fear failure and so I don't think I could handle one like that. Looking back, I guess I just got really infatuated with Eng Boy. Yeah. I guess I was right for saying that I wasn't in love. I guess throughout the years, I have started to harden myself knowing that nobody's out there. I have only myself to love. My life may be driven by success but at least, I would want it to repay my mom for everything she's done. She's no great hero worthy of national recognition. She's just mom, trying to do her job as one. By the way, I also joined the Dragon Boat Rowing Team. I guess I missed the adrenalin rush from tennis and since I can't be in the team anymore, I'd have to find a new sport to feed my physical energies on plus, I get to see Paddler every training. I think it's better this way that I'm not setting my sights on one person alone. I'd just end up writing the obituary for a love that died. I don't wanna do that. One Tree Hill made me realize that I must write my predictions for the year. This is my 18th and I hope to find my predictions come true at least a year from now. so for this year, here are mine (not in particular order):
There, I've listed them. *continued the next day* I watched Rent last week. It was a helluva friggin good movie if you're not so much into the superficial storylines of contemporary movies these days. It actually made me cry! I guess Ross was right for saying that I am truly a softie inside. :"> I mean it made me think about what I have compared to them. I felt so ashamed thinking that my life is hell compared to them that they even have barely enough money to last a day. Add the fact that their days are counted because of AIDS takes the meaning of the word hopelessness to a whole new level. Anyway, I don't know how to tell mom that I'll be needing around 15000 bucks for all the summer trips I'll have for this year. For one, I 'll be having my [S] Baguio trip on Tuesday, the Amazing Friends of Mr. Biggles Bora trip and the DLSU Dragon Boat Bora trip.. hahaha! Shucks.. I hope to get my much-deserved R&R before I head on to [hopefully] my first term in majors next year. I just really do hope that Sir Calara passes me even though I didn't quite put what I really had to do since I had a lot of stuff to do for the past week. It has just been oh so overwhelming... Ay wait! I forgot.. I'm also going to my munchkin's Pahiyas festival in Laguna so.. that's four! I don't know how much I'll ask for that one.. so anyway.. I'm hoping to finish five books this summer and enjoy what is left of the summer that I'll have because I might be taking summer classess next year to make up for all the underloaded terms that I have. :)