The waves have crashed down at
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
5:16 PM
It's raining cats and dogs today. Thankfully, we don't have Lbych08 today. I am so looking forward to not having that class because of the poorly-facilitated laboratory and well, let's just say I refuse to see someone so unsightly today. Thankfully, he didn't go to school. :)
Yes, it's a rainy day hence, I have a license to feel gloomy. The weather seems to have this influential effect on my mood. Bear with my weirdness as I go through the whirwind complications on my mind. I am going to Punta Fuego on Saturday so I guess I can't make a new entry by then because I assume they don't have wifi there so Pacey [my trusty laptop] would be pretty useless.
The sad ambience of the house during a rainy day echoes what I feel somehow. If you would look into my past entries, I remember stating there that I wish that my perfect guy would convince me to kiss him in the rain like the one at the Nescafe commercial. Kinda makes me sad that I am pretty much all alone figuratively. I mean I have my cousin sleeping at the couch as of the moment and the helper sweeping the garage so the water goes to the big hole that's supposed to be the main drainage of the garage. I made a playlist before blogging to set the mood. Slow, sad songs to keep me in this sad mood while blogging helps. Anyway, this is one of the moments wherein I just wish someone was here with me. Someone to look me in the eyes and hold my hands as if I am a delicate flower in need of shelter from the storm. I admit that sometimes, I wish I had that special someone here with me although when you really think about it, cynical thoughts up ahead it is never worth the heartache. Munchkin [the name I call my blockmate Marice] and I were wondering last Monday why I never had a guy in years. I mean there were people who I had mutual feelings for yet nobody ever made the cut to at least pass the standards I set. It's either one of us just don't really feel that there is that magic between us. Honestly, I do wonder when I have the time whether I'll grow up to be a spinster. I mean that would be.. something, right? Sigh... I just wish that guy meets me before it's too late. The only sucky part is, what if I already met him? x_x Am I just really ugly or I am just too weird beyond the normal weird so I am weird weird? At least, being weird has its advantages. :) You get to ward off the players even before they take a chance, well most of the time. :)
The rain has hampered its drops and everything feels calm. I can say that I am physically attracted to someone but it's not enought to make me change my mind and convince that there are guys out there worth the tears and the love. As far as my 18 years of existence can say, no guy is. I guess I am starting to sound bitter. Fine. Yes, I am bitter because of the fact that the people around me have someone to love and I am left all alone. The sad part is, I can't force myself to love someone. I'm sorry. :(
I often end my entries with a line from a song.. For this entry, I have a good one.
"Seems like I'm never coming home Seems like I'm always on my own... All the stars and boulevards Ain't close enough for you" - Stars and Boulevards by Augustana
